How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Turn On Your Confidence

We all hear it—that nagging voice in our head that just can’t help criticize every single thing we do. 

As women, the dialogue we have with our inner critic daily is painful, scarring, and absolutely unacceptable.

But oddly, all that judgment grew out of our conscious and unconscious memories of fear and failure from childhood on.

I used to call my inner critic Bitchy Brenda.

She was a bitchy, pessimistic, self-doubter who always seemed to sink my vibrations lower just when I needed an influx of positive energy. She was a “stopper.” In fact, her very words were always about “not,” “can’t,” and “won’t,” but I refused to let her stop me and I unlocked how to silence your inner critic and turn on your confidence. 

Now I like to call her Brenda Bossbabe because she looks good and feels BETTER!

Have you asked yourself, how do you turn on your confidence? The trick is to love her (your inner critic). It sounds easier said than done. I know. But try seeing her as an ally and not an enemy. After all, she is YOU. So just like you would with any other person you love, embrace the good AND the bad in her and cut her some effing slack. In order to do that, let’s talk about five reasons to love your inner critic.

1. She has your best interests at heart.

It might be hard to believe, but all that criticism is really her way of trying to keep you out of what she perceives as a bad situation. She’s like Molly in HBO’s Insecure; that tactless, overzealous friend who thinks they know what’s best for you and discourages you from doing anything new. She wants to keep you from taking any risk that might end up getting you hurt. Her methods suck but her intentions are good.

2. She can make you better—at everything.

When your inner critic raises an objection, try not to cut her off. Let her say her piece and then explore what she is trying to do. Is she making any valid points? Is this a situation where hitting the silence button might be a good idea? Are you making good choices for yourself? Don’t argue with her, just use the “stop” as an opportunity to assess your plan, your actions, and what you truly want. That kind of critical, reflective thinking is actually what takes an idea, or in this case your life, from “good” to “better.”

3. She knows you better than anyone else.

Your inner critic knows the real you—not the polished perception of you but the whole you, the beautiful mess. The truth can sometimes hurt and that’s why she can be so damaging, but it’s also why she can be your greatest ally.

4. Love puts YOU back in control.

As long as you continue feeding your inner critic, she has the reins over your life. She is steering your destiny. When you embrace her and learn to control the noise, you’ll be able to calm her negativity and take back your life.

5. Your inner critic can help you lose weight!

Having your inner critic on your side will definitely increase your happiness. Here's something you may not know, she can also help you lose weight. That's right! When you successfully convert her into your ally, you’ve gained a new addition to your team who encourages you to make healthier choices, exercise regularly, and be the best you can be. Now, if that's not the best reason to love her, then I don't know what is!

If you’re ready for a more in-depth lesson on how to silence your inner critic and turn on your confidence, Text INNERALLY to (833) 224-0418.

We’ll look at where our critics come from, how to make them treat us better, and do some exercises to help get that boss back on track. See you there!